goodeveningeurope

Europe paging Portugal

In Portugal, previous years, review on April 4, 2014 at 08:00

The Eurovision world is thrilled to have Portugal back after a couple of years of absence. We don’t really get why as they rarely have anything to offer but a rather middle of the road entry that very few north of the Iberian peninsula understand nor take a particular liking to. We suppose it has to do with the urge every congregation has to herd the bewildered safely back into the flock.

And Portugal continues being the oddball, participating once again without the slightest chance of winning or even making it to top 10. But luckily they decided to have some fun with it, and we love the bubbly, bouncy latino schlager they have chosen to send to Copenhagen. Suzy looks like a million bucks, and we figure this is exactly how a Portuguese Barbie doll must look like. Her performance ticks off most boxes of what a quintessential Eurovision entry should contain:

  • Purposeful strutting about – check
  • Suggestive bum wiggling – check
  • Hot male dancers banging on giant drums – check
  • Hot male dancer being shirtless mind you – check
  • Waving about big banners – check
  • A big fat clunky key change – check
  • Lot’s of whammoweing and oh-oh-ing – check
  • 80% of the song is about repeating a sing along chorus – check
  • Backing singers performing synchronized intricate choreography – check
  • Pyro! – check

What’s not to like? We almost forget that vocally it’s a disaster. Details, details, let’s not ruin the fun, shall we? Be warned, we’ll dig up our lambada dance moves from 89 and get ready to hit the dance floor in May.

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